NOBEL PRIZE NOD FOR NEILL CORP BOFFINS
HAMMOND, Louisiana — Quirky, secretive, and downright cultish they may be, but Hammond’s own Neill Corporation, a major distributor of Aveda salon and beauty products, will be walking the red carpet at this year’s glittering Nobel Prize Award Ceremony.
One Bedico beauty biz insider told HAN, “The people in black have been doing amazing things with their new OKRA, SUMMER SQUASH AND WATERMELON CONDITIONER. The entire industry is stunned that this could mean an end to high humidity frizz as we know it!”
For the past seventeen months, secret testing has been taking place at various locations throughout Tangipahoa Parish.
Customers at one Pumpkin Center salon, Darleen’s Upper Cuts, Tan and Tattoo, had their tweets followed by industry scientists, and the buzz was soon viral. Neill Corp would be getting the Nobel Prize “Best Head” nomination.
Neill Corp declined a request for an interview with HAN, but off the record, a well placed source told us, “It’s good, it’s really good.”
They added, “The OKRA, SUMMER SQUASH AND WATERMELON POWERMAX NANOTECH ORGANIC CONDITIONER! is what women in the Gulf South have been waiting for, but don’t think for one minute it’s going to turn everyone at the dollar store into Myleene Klass….. ‘cos it sure as shit won’t.”
1 year ago