REVEALED! MAYOR FOSTER’S SEXY CAMPAIGN SECRETS
HAMMOND, Louisiana — After a Daily Star news article beat local media rival The Lion’s Roar in publishing the earliest details of Mayor Mayson Foster’s re-election intentions this week, Foster sat down with HAN in an exclusive interview to reveal his campaign strategy.
“Two Hammond incumbent [sic] will not seek relection [sic] because they have complete [sic] their term limits. Neither one are [sic] Mayor Mason Forster [sic],” the Daily Star reported this week.
As residents nervously await to see who will challenge Foster for the ‘cool vanilla’ Chrysler 300, the mayor has begun an intense training regimen which he says will win him re-election on October 2.
Foster told HAN that he had been working out at Crossfit, a new fitness center located in historic downtown Hammond, but he was recently forced to hire a team of personal trainers and invest in a private gym after a growing number of spectators crowded around the sweaty mayor as he hurled a 60-lb concrete ball over his head using only his thighs during one of the many anaerobic high-intensity core-strengthening exercises.
“It’s all about strengthening the core,” continued Foster, “along with constant various mental exercises, which will allow me to crush anyone who stands between me and a dope victory party after it’s all over.”
Foster says he is attempting to focus solely on his campaign, despite recent controversy in which the mayor was accused of using performance-enhancing drugs after a successful first quarter and an increase in sales tax revenue for April.
The mayor denies the rumors, but he has since been subject to random drug testing in search for any illegal substance that may cause personal improvement in his job as mayor of Hammond.
1 year ago