WELLS PROMISES TO CRACK DOWN ON ILLEGAL ALIENS
HAMMOND, Louisiana — After long-time political contender Arden Wells qualified Friday to run for marshall in Tangipahoa’s 8th ward, the career candidate vowed to step up operations against the extraterrestrial.
Wells’ pivotal platform is a promise to the electorate to reduce the number of alien abductions in the largely-rural ward.
Despite an increase in unemployment and the discoveries of illicit meth laboratories in the Robert area, alien abduction remains a hot-button issue for many residents. Wells is adamant he can reduce the number of abductions and associated probings by 50%.
Whilst Wells is unopposed in the October race, local political pundits remain dubious of his chance of securing a victory.
1 year ago