DDD ANNOUNCES HOT AUGUST NIGHT SIDEWALK BAN
HAMMOND, Louisiana — All roads and sidewalks in downtown Hammond will be temporarily closed to pedestrians for next month’s 15th Annual Hot August Night, the Downtown Development District announced on their website Friday.
The move has come after last year’s disastrous art stroll and wine tasting in which participants experienced long delays and heavy congestion on city sidewalks, and at least fifteen people were treated for injuries sustained in person-to-person collisions and other walking-related accidents.
“Safety is our number one priority,” read a statement issued by the DDD, “and we feel that allowing people to freely roam the sidewalks on Hot August Night is no longer in accordance with Ordinance No. 518 of the city code.”
The notorious Ordinance No. 518, which is only known and discussed within the deepest and most secretive local political circles in locations such as back rooms, empty parking garages, abandoned warehouses, and the Yellow Bird Cafe, invests total responsibility and unlimited liability for the safety of all city residents in the executive authority of the city, the mayor.
“Number 518? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mayor Mayson Foster told HAN with a straight face, “but even if I did know, I couldn’t tell you when or why it was established, or how I’m supposed to claim responsibility for the safety of over 20,000 people. You should really ask me about something else. It’s not safe here.”
While Ordinance No. 518’s history remains unclear, the DDD refused to comment on whether Mayor Foster was behind the Hot August Night sidewalk ban, only stating, “We encourage all area residents to enjoy the night from the safety of their vehicles.”
1 year ago